Brickhouse Child Locator Gadget

Spying on your kids is easy, with a myriad of expensive gadgets available now: BrickHouse Security offers Child Locators that can be worn like a watch or hidden in a jacket or backpack. SpyCamMan offers a wireless video camera incorporated into a Barbasol shave cream can. The RS-100 from Road Safety International borrows technology from the black boxes on airplanes to record teen driving habits.

But, just because you can, should you monitor your children that closely? Of course, there are valid reasons for watching over teen driving. And, one of our children was forever getting lost almost as soon as he could walk, so maybe a GPS (or a cellphone) would have made sense, had they been available.

But if you wait until your children are adolescents, haven't you already lost the battle of good behavior?

All anyone has to do to witness the breakdown in adolescent behavior is to visit or substitute-teach in a classroom, where adults are the enemy and children are out of control. Maybe it's just in public schools, but my informal survey includes classes for gifted and talented, who seemed to be talented troublemakers also.

As the parent of two sons, both of whom are now in their 20s, I believe that good behavior starts young – maybe before birth, as mothers can pass on drugs and alcohol during pregnancy. Your choice of partners is critical to your child's future.

As most parents are, I am proud of my children, and, when they were in public schools, I relished compliments from teachers on their behavior. I can't take credit for their actions, but I found that I differed sharply from many others in my parenting philosophy. And then there is the delightful surprise of meeting a kindred soul. The following summarizes my parenting mantra:

• Treat children like you want to be treated. Long before I entered the labor and delivery door, I witnessed a troubling tableau. I was enjoying a Whopper when I noticed a man and a little boy next to me. They were obviously in a hurry, because the man said, "Start stuffing," to the little boy, who was eating a hamburger. Ten to one, he wouldn't tell one of his adult friends that.

• Don't micromanage. I met a mom who said her child was forbidden to buy chocolate milk in the school cafeteria. Isn't this pointless? Who is there to enforce this ban? Why not pick a more significant battle?

• Model, model, model. From drooling to dating, the child is watching. Parents are the most important examples of behavior there is, starting with your own choice of partner. It's an ugly truth, but children take in everything.

• Tell the truth. "We told Brian that broccoli was spinach," said a friend who has since moved to another state. The little white lie was designed to take advantage of Popeye's taste for the green stuff. Why not push spinach itself? I don't know. The same parent reassured her nervous child that tornadoes never destroy brick houses. Didn't she realize that those lies would come home to roost?

• Enjoy your kids. They move out all too soon.

• Maintain your sense of humor. I was dealing with a hungry, tired toddler who was pitching a fit in the grocery store when a perfect stranger approached. "Aw, mom, lighten up," he said, putting the incident in perspective. Thank you for that, whoever you are.

Above all, don't be too hard on yourself. Parents will err, sometimes grievously, and if you spend too much time regretting your mistakes, you will miss the opportunity to enjoy their childhood.

And, if you've done a decent job, maybe you'll get a second chance with grandchildren.

Source: http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/city/collin/opinion/stories/DN-west_parenting_29edi.ART.West.Edition1.4e32ab8.html